Living through my twenties provided me with a variety of experiences that span the globe, the heart and the wallet. In my thirties, I envision a different life. This is a blog for women who are facing many of the obstacles I face, the dilemmas I struggle with, the joys I experience and the changes I wish to make in my life. It will be a developing roadmap, always in progress, but always with insights, outlooks and reflections. It will be a place where women like myself, or completely unlike myself, but who still share similar needs and desires, can come and feel part of a community. There are some things I’m far more comfortable sharing with particular friends than others and I imagine there are women with feelings or secrets built up inside of them that they have no one to share with, no one to turn to and no one to tell them, “Hey you’re not alone!” So without the psychology degree or religious fundamental awakening, I’m here to write about my journey and ask you come along with me.
I have almost always believed in myself (we all falter) and I always thought I had something important to say. I didn’t know who to say it to, who would listen or when the time would come. I’ve been waiting so long. So I decided, I know what I want to say and who I want to say it to. I’m not sure who will listen, but the time is now. I’m tired of waiting for my life to begin again. I want to wake my life up and I want to do something that is totally and utterly me.
I knew I wanted a change, but I didn’t know what the change was. So, I started walking until I hit a big boulder called “Idea”. This boulder was pretty indistinct. It had no defining characteristics, no discernible color, and it wasn’t very big. So I walked around this boulder and I thought to call out to others to ask what they thought of my idea, but if I didn’t even know what it was, how could I ask them? So I sat down next to my idea and I got my laptop. I searched a few things and started thinking about myself and asking the questions we have to continue asking ourselves, every day until the day we shuffle off this mortal coil ( or “die”, for you non-Shakespeare lovers): who am I, what do I want, who do I want to be, where am I going, how will I get there and who will I take with me.
The more I thought about these questions and the more I started refining the answers, the bigger the boulder got. It had definition, and it appeared to be shining. The further I refined it, the more defined it became. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes I was really tired and I didn’t feel like asking any more questions. I would pick up a book and go away from the boulder, and start to read. And something in the reading would make me think about my boulder and I would run back to it and start polishing a side a bit, scrubbing some dirt off the other side. Sometimes in the mundane, we can find the extraordinary.
This is my boulder, although it hardly looks like one now. Now it looks like a great big monument to who I am, what I want, who I want to be, where I’m going, how I will get there and who I will take with. It’s a guide about how I got here and where I am going. You can come along. It won’t always work for you, but it might be just the thing you need to find a boulder, or to find a way to make it shine for you.
Being 30 in the 21st century has a very different meaning than it did 50 years ago, 40 years ago, 30 years ago or even 20 years ago. Many women are rediscovering the joys of being a stay-at-home mom, while others find themselves operating as a single mom and succeeding marvelously. Some women haven’t yet ventured into motherhood, and other women have already completed their families. Some women refuse to marry; while others aren’t allowed to marry the partners of their choice. Some women are happily married; others can’t wait to sign the divorce papers. No two women are alike, but we all have concerns. We all have questions and we’re all looking for answers. What I want to do is provide a forum for thought, and perhaps even discussion, about what we need and what we need to be.
I feel like I’m meant for something better, and if you do too, then I hope you follow me on this journey we you create own ways of sailing the waters of happiness, fulfillment and joy.